Catch-22's: Retreating from the Retreat

I seem to have developed the good sense, or strong protective shield, to help keep people at bay who might hurt or take advantage of me.

Yet, what I have a marvelous knack for is stepping into catch-22's.

It might help me to make up a song about them. Just don't let it be a stupid song that no one can sing along to. Like the song that opened our retreat a week ago. It was so silly that it was embarrassing. I hate being embarrassed. I hate feeling ashamed.

Catch-22's tend to create shame in me. I am not sure why. I guess I can't use my usual right brained approach in dealing with them. Aw heck, they can't be dealt with in ANY way can they?

But I seem to have a knack for finding situations that I feel ambivalent about and then I tell myself that if I am a good, responsible person, I will show up to make a difference at these events. Like this retreat.

Which on some levels was a great experience. Or could have been, if I could have had someplace to retreat to. Cause it wasn't a retreat. It was a fully-scheduled event designed to stretch introverts. Or maybe not. There was a lot of information to take in, and great stories... but too much listening, and to cope in that kind of environment, I take notes!

Who takes notes at a retreat? Unless the notes are in a journal and are self-reflective.

Has anyone ever had a retreat in a standard American economy box hotel? A mile from the one of the most heavily-trafficked airport in the world? The folks that booked the event did a great job choosing a hotel out of the main flight path, I'll give them that. And I'll give lots of other credit, but I would call the event by a better name. A conference.

I need a retreat to recover from the overstimulation. And my poor roommate, she thought she signed up for a retreat too!
I am praying for her now, even as I am very glad that I do not have to fall asleep to a television set for a good long while to come!