a new year, a new start, the twelve steps

I've learned, after many years of cycling through recovery, that it really does not matter the speed in which I "do" the steps. Nor does it matter how deeply I do them the first time. The point is to be willing to do them again and again and learn something new each time.

For the more I study a subject, and the more ways I cover the material, the better I learn it. But like everything else in program, perfection is not the goal, progress is. I don't need to stay on step one for a year to get it right! No, the program is very forgiving, and if I need to repeat any of it at any time, there is no shame.

As for me, I like to study using whatever I need at the time. Yes the steps come in order. Yes. That is wonderful. Yet, I also need to remind myself and my sponsees, this is not a program that "works" linearly. In the version of program called "Emotions Anonymous" we do not "control" our emotions-by the same token we can not "really" make our program work in fixed order!

It is wonderful to think of myself as being at the center of a circle, with the numbers 1-12 at different places on a clock face. From my center, I can easily step from 1-3 and then come back to know myself better.

Thank HP the program is one of paradox. (Look that word up, it is important.) We come to find peace with opposites here, and also with the fact that people utilize (and speak up about) different aspects of the program at different times in their growing. What you need for your program in your beginning stages may be what I need much later in my program! What we all have in common is that we come 'round these steps over and over as we practice them and make understanding and new habits a part of our lives.

A significant celestial event has just accompanied us into a new year: a blue moon. Last night the full moon repeated itself in our night sky for the second time in December!

For a few more hours of daylight today... I have a new beginning. The first day in my 2010 program year is beginning. I launch Step One again as a tool for living a serene life.

May this year be the best one yet!